I usually don't NEED coffee but today I was in a great mood and I wanted the morning to blow by so I stopped for a cup at Dunkin Donuts. I got a bagel too. The people behind the counter always have a hard time comprehending the orders and repeat their questions over and over about cream and sugar and toasted or not and cream cheese. I just shrugged it off as no big deal... until today. It's officially over. I gave Dunkin Donuts a chance and they blew it. I am NEVER going there again, EVER.

All I wanted was a black coffee. BLACK- meaning nothing in it. I even said "nothing in it - black" so that he would understand. He proceeded to ask me anyway if I wanted cream and sugar and I said "no - black." So, I pay, which is another issue entirely because it's always a different price. I've gone three times and gotten the same thing each time at different totals: $2.79, $2.34 and today $2.40. Hmmm? No matter - it's just a few cents, right. So, I settle in at my desk and pop open my coffee (I never drink it in the car because I'll spill and I can't drink it steaming hot). It's a funny color. I take a sip. It has cream in it! Not only do I despise cream but milk products in general make me physically ill. Great. Now I have no coffee and nothing to wash down this bagel that is getting cold. I HATE THAT MAN. He ruined my entire morning if not my entire day.

Dunkin Donuts is back in the shitter for me and, thanks to that worthless employee, my Friday is in the shitter, too. But, maybe that's the lack of coffee talking? Now I know how people who need a drug fix must feel - angry and ready to explode. Perhaps I should stay away from coffee altogether.

- Judianne

It's Fourth of July weekend, which means that there will inevitably be a lot of exploding and flaming goods erupting all around.  Hell, maybe you'll be one of the people initiating said explosions.  I'm a huge fireworks fan, have been ever since I was a kid suckering my mom into buying 'the goods' for me during trips down South.

Still, fireworks are some dangerous stuff.  Be careful, always obey instructions, and have a bucket of water nearby "just in case."  Of course, technically you shouldn't be shooting off a lot of the stuff you have stashed away in your closet, but we're not keeping tabs on your illegal collection.

I hate to sound like someone's mom, but I've seen some close calls from people doing some pretty stupid stuff with consumer-grade explosives.  I'm not going to take a "leave it to the pros" stance, but exercise some common sense if you simply must light the fuse.  I know it sounds like a lot of fun to stick firecrackers inside things, but usually all that ensues is shrapnel and the potential for a trip to the emergency room.

Take it from a fellow enthusiast - have a good time celebrating, but don't go overboard and earn a fun new nickname like "lefty."

    -Tucker

There really IS something about Oprah. I wrote a TV Watchers blog post back in May about how I got sucked into watching Oprah's Legend's Ball special. Since then I received so many comments and e-mails on the subject that I just had to make a note of it.

They range all over the place but the common theme among the comments is that Oprah is evil, or part of some evil plot, anyway. It's madness! Or is it?

Read the blog and comments and, while you're at it, add your own two cents. Why not? If you love Oprah for some unexaplainable reason, you'd better get your dukes up - these anti-fans are serious.

- Judianne

We interviewed the LV Hash House Harriers a couple of weeks ago - they were the "drinkers with a running problem" that run and drink and run and drink as a social group. But they don't really do it to get in shape... they do it for the fun of it. I guess that means that my run last night followed by my Coors Lights with dinner doesn't really make any sense. Oh well, at least I ran a little instead of going straight for the beer. That's progress.

Last night I had the extreme displeasure to watch the IMAX version of Superman Returns in an OMNIMAX theater.  It was the single worst moviegoing experience of my entire life.  I cannot sling enough hatred toward the Franklin Institute for subjecting me to two and a half hours of torture.  Here is an itemized list of complaints.

"Superman Returns: An IMAX 3D Experience" - "using a proprietary 2D to 3D conversion technology blah blah blah, bullSHIT."  My friend (who flew up from Florida for this "experience") commented as we took our seats, "Umm, if it's 3D who's handing out the glasses?"  His concern deepened, so he sought out a pimply faced employee to find out what was going on.  Oops, sorry, no 3D for you, OMNIMAX theaters can't do it. I don't have some kind of crazy NEED for 3D or anything, but shit - if that's part of the deal, they better damn well deliver.  Glad I didn't pay for tickets.

OMNIMAX isn't IMAX - The theater is a completely different shape, the distance from the screen is much different, the curvature of the screen is different, and the aspect ratio on the projection is different.  This rendered the film nearly unwatchable.  Because we were SO DAMN CLOSE to the screen, and because the screen is meant to wrap around the audience, there was a basic requirement of transforming into a freaking owl just to follow two characters.  The opening recap credits nearly required a full body twist.  People were actually laughing at how ridiculous this was.

My, what nice curves you have - I'm all about looking at things projected on the inside of a fishbowl if they're filmed in that aspect ratio, but wrapping a standard film turns anything even remotely close to the edge of the screen into a silly, distorted mess.  Somehow I don't think Lois Lane's ass is four times the size of her head in real life. My biggest gripe with other feature films on IMAX was the slight bending toward the very extreme edges, but this was comical.

Does a chiropracter come with the ticket? - I was in physical pain the entire time.  This morning, I felt like someone went to town on my back and neck with a baseball bat.  Again, the screen was so damn close, the seats so uncomfortable and there was so much required head-turning that I'm surprised my spine didn't just give out altogether.  Seriously, there was no possible way to get comfortable.  Imagine doing this for two and a half hours.

Action? What action - Anytime anything even remotely quick happened on screen, we might as well have all just pulled out a book to read.  It was impossible to follow even mundane action sequences because there's no way the human eyes and head can take in even a small portion of 180 degrees of a projected image moving at any sort of speed.  Even picking a spot and focusing on it hoping for something cool to happen was useless, because...

Bryan Singer directed the movie - If you're familiar with any of his work, he likes to cram in as many visuals into as few frames of film as possible.  This usually isn't too noticeable, or too terrible, until for a three second conversation you're forced to turn your head to look in ten completely different directions.  Maybe a David Fincher movie with ten-minute long unbroken camera cuts would work, but since Singer obviously wears a T-shirt that says "I heart video editing equipment," most of the film was an exercise in "find the character on the too-large screen."

I really can't say enough bad things about watching an IMAX film on an OMNI screen.  I felt really, really bad for the poor suckers who were standing in line with paid tickets for the midnight showing.  I almost wanted to be one of those dickheads to shout "don't pay for it! see it somewhere else!"  But then I figured just like Superman, I couldn't save everyone.  Man, I can't wait for this DVD to come out so I can actually watch the film.  Damn unfortunate is what it is.

    -Tucker

My sister is coming to visit and she's never seen my current place. It's not really my place, but it's a friends from whom I rent a room. So, I guess in a way... whatever, you get the idea. Anyway - she arrives on Sunday and it just dawned on me that I should probably clean things up before her arrival. That means scrubbing floors and dusting tabletops and all those little things that get skipped in the usual cleaning (you know, the toilet, the shower, the sink and countertops and laundry). After thinking it over for a few minutes, I suddenly felt overwhelmed as my thoughts of cleaning began to extend into remodeling and redecorating.

Why do we always feel the need to dress things up for visitors when reality is what they want? If the house is good enough for me day to day then it will probably be good enough for my sister. She wants to see how and where and with whom I am living, not some fantasy that I created 48-hours before her arrival. It makes me wonder about other people's houses... maybe I'll start dropping in on people to see if they really live that way or if it was all a show for me to come over. I mean, of course you want to clean up a bit, put away your dirty clothes and pick up your junk mail, but beyond that a visitor should get the real deal and nothing more. If you're gross in reality, then I would say just don't invite people over - EVER.

- Judianne

I'm going to see a screening of Superman Returns on IMAX at the Franklin Institute in Philly tonight.  So is one of my old roommates.  The only difference is that while I'm driving to Philly from Allentown, he's flying to Philly from Boca Raton, FL.

Yeah, that's a little extreme.  He sent me a text message this morning on the way to the airport to say some people are lining up outside theaters down there already with capes and such.  I didn't have the heart to mention that's almost on the same level as hopping a jet to see a movie screening.

I'm looking forward to it, of course (mostly because it's the IMAX version and IMAX is sweet) but I'm not the biggest Superman fan to begin with.  He's too much of a clean-cut pretty boy - I like my superheroes dark and gritty.  I'm sure the movie will be good, but will it be fly-up-from-the-south good?

Oh well, here's to everyone camping out waiting for this one to open.  Look for my review of the Superman Returns IMAX experience tomorrow.

    -Tucker

We've all heard of an "inside voice" but I want to address the "inside weather." No matter how hot or cold or whatever it is outside, you can be certain that inside the temperture is totally unpredictable. For instance, in my office it's often too cold for me to take off my jacket, even though it's 80-something outside and humid as all hell. But other times it's unbearably warm and uncomfortable. It's a no-win, but I guess work has to miserable (it's an unwritten law).

There are certain places where I always know what the "weather" will be so I plan accordingly. Like, when I go to Damon's to eat I always wear pants and a heavy coat because it's freezing no matter what in that restaurant. The opposite is true of Our Beerbelly's - that bar is obscenely warm all year round. (I guess that's one way to get all the girls into skimpy clothes.)

My point is that just because it's nasty and rainy and muggy outside, doesn't mean that you won't need to get the forecast for where ever you are going tonight.

- Judianne

Nothing. Fridays mean nothing to me anymore. I always have to work all weekend and I'm burning out. And if I'm not working, I'm booked with family parties or other schedule "pleasantries." It's great to have stuff to do on the weekends, but sometimes I just want a choice. Maybe I want to go to Philly on whim one Saturday or maybe I just want to sit in my backyard all Sunday afternoon and drink beer. It seems like the older I get the less time I have to enjoy myself... and that just sucks. People with multiple jobs or with kids can feel me. It's our own faults for taking on so much but sometimes, especially when it comes to money or job security, there's only so much you can do. So, I will feel free to complain just this once that my thoughts of Friday make everyone's skippy, flippy "hooray for Friday" mood pointless, and it just makes me angry. Where's my happy hour? Where's my weekend getaway?

DAMN IT I hate Friday!

It's been a while since I talked about the weather, so I feel justified in doing so now.  Right now, it's sunny outside.  In a couple of hours, it's going to be pouring.  A lot, apparently.  There's a flood watch today through Saturday night, with more thunderstorms on Sunday.  Sounds like a lovely weekend.

A good storm from time to time isn't any sort of big deal, but overall it sounds like experts are pretty worried about the way the weather has been behaving the past few years.  These guys say that not only is global warming real, but last year's deadly hurricane season was a product.  Does this mean we'll be seeing "The Day After Tomorrow"-like catastrophies any time soon?  I sure as hell hope not.

So be careful out there when you're doing stuff this weekend, and make sure you bring an umbrella.

    -Tucker