I love my mom, but she can't tell a story to save her life. I got a message from her yesterday saying something like this...

"Your sister had a great time in Vegas. She'll have to tell you all about it. She met some guy who was popular in the 80s... or, I guess he's still popular now... and she was all 'with the band' and stuff. She was pretty excited to be invited to... she'll have to tell you about it... she was all excited that she met that one famous guy....

It kind of went on like that for a minute or two. When I got her on the phone all I got was a repeat of the same script with no further details (no matter how specific my questions got). It was frustrating. Who? Where? When? What? Why? How? These are things that you need to offer if you're going to tell a story. If not, you're just teasing me and confusing me and making me wonder what the heck you are talking about.

It makes me laugh in this case because it's just a testament to how silly my mom can be but when other people do it, it just makes me irritated. Kind of like when people try to tell a joke and get the punchline all jumbled up or backwards or whatever. I suppose I've probably done it before but I've been reminded not to do it again.

Thanks, mom.

- Judianne

PS: Gina, call me to tell me the real story from Vegas!

This weekend when the heat was on, I escaped to the movies. I saw X-Men: The Last Stand and it was good but that's not the main point. A movie theater is always abundantly air conditioned and a two-hour break from the humidity is a nice way to break up the day. However, what used to be a great escape isn't all that anymore.

The theater I went to - and I won't name names because they're all pretty much the same - was filthy and overcrowded and the food was stale and obscenely priced. And don't even get me started on the half hour or commercials and previews (for movies that all look awful anyway). I try to show up late but then I have trouble getting a seat that's not occupied, broken or covered in gross stains atop a sticky floor.

I think I'd almost rather go to the mall for "cooling time" and you know when the mall is better than things are really bad.

- Judianne

I am 28 years old. When I was younger, I had my share of accidents on my bike and with my brother and on roller skates and climbing trees and all that. In high shool I was a "flyer" in cheerleading and got dropped A LOT. On top of all that, I've always been a pretty big clutz - tripping over mystery cracks in the floor and all that. However, in spite of all that, I have managed to stay away from hospitals and stiches and casts and sugery - until now.

About a year and half ago I made my very first visit to an emergency room to get seven stiches in my finger since I almost chopped it off cutting a piece of cheese in my kitchen. I was terrified and it showed. They had to put me on oxygen to calm me down and almost no one could believe that I'd never had stiches before. I was a blubbering mess and when they asked me how old I was they made a face when I said 27. The few weeks following that recovery were a nightmare and I was taking some serious pain killers.

This year, yesterday in fact, I had to "go under" for my first official surgery. Sure, it was only my wisdom teeth being removed but it was still my first and it was still scary. Fortunately I had a really nice doctor who walked me through the whole thing I made it through with only a little bit of swelling and a aching in my cheeks (so far).

Which brings me back to the beginning of my blog. Now, I am on drugs. I am not one to even take asprin unless I just can't stand the pain anymore but now I am taking Amoxocillan, Motrin and Vicadin and a steady stream of pudding and ice cream - all by order of my doctor. "House" on TV makes it look like no big deal to pop Vicadin and other drugs, but let me remind you not to believe everything you hear on TV. It's not fun.

I sure hope that whole "third times a charm thing" isn't true and I just go back to avoiding visits to the hospital from now on. No offense to doctors, but I'm just not a fan of the whole thing.

The most painful part, though, is knowing that I am missing out on all the beach and BBQ events that are starting now for Memorial Day weekend. CRAP! And I really wanted a funnel cake from Mayfair too. Oh well - maybe by Monday?

- Judianne

This morning, Marc and I saw an awesome band name: Gnarls Barkley.  That got us thinking of other great band names.  It's really too much fun, and gets out of control fast.  Post your band names in the comments.

Marc:
6th & Turner
Happy Dairy
General Tso's Chickens
The Courtesy Flushers

Me:
Bird Poop On The Windshield
45 In A 75
Three Bald Men And A Bald Cat
The Five-Year Blink

    -Tucker

Judianne's out today having teeth forcably ripped from her jaw and discarded.  Yup, she's finally having her wisdom teeth out - she's one of those freaky people who was able to wait forever to have it done.  Well, I guess the bell finally tolls for Judianne's teeth.

I remember being in and out with no problems when I had mine done a couple years back.  It's a pretty routine procedure (despite all the scary disclaimers the doctors have to tell you about), and most people's horror stories are just embellished because they're scared of the dentist.  Besides, when it's all through they give you groovy painkillers.

    -Tucker

We ran a feature on LV parks a while ago, so I know there are tons of parks all over the area.  Problem is, I've never really taken the time to explore them.  Yesterday my roommate asked if I wanted to play ultimate frisbee with some friends-of-friends, so I decided to give it a shot even though I've never played before.

It was a good time, and very laid back (there were only six people total, with a random seventh for a while).  Of course, so few people meant lots of running, but it's all good.  The thing that impressed me most, though, was the park. We were at the Lehigh Parkway, which judging by the info online is quite large.  It was full of people, but not super jammed or anything, and seemed like an awesome place to go for some time in the outdoors.

So this summer I will be looking forward to discovering the rest of the awesome parks in Allentown...  This is definitely an untapped resource for me, as much as I'm ashamed to admit it.  Any other parks I should make sure I put at the top of my list?

    -Tucker

So my roommate gets to go to all kinds of "drug dinners."  Yeah, that sounds like something you'd probably watch a Dateline special about, but it's all through her program at the hospital.  Apparently drug manufacturers like to take doctors and interns and whatnot out to fancy free dinners to spew propaganda - err...  information - at them for a couple hours.  Last night they went to Bacio, which I've been dying to try.

There's no way I could sneak in to one of these dinners - I'm sure the drug reps can smell a lowly web producer among classy medical peeps.  I did, however, get the next best thing: leftovers.  It seems the drug company folks had so many appetizers served up, she couldn't come close to finishing the veal entree.  So now, thanks to some multimillion dollar drug company, I have lunch today.  And I am happy.

    -Tucker

I went to Blue Grillehouse for an after-work drink yesterday just because I was craving one of their Midnight In Paris martinis (berry flavors with a stir stick of fresh blackberries and raspberries across the top... mmmmmm). My plan was to stop in for one martini and a some bar nut mix and then head home.

When I got there I was immediately greeted by two men at the corner of the bar. They didn't even ask my name or anything, they just said "welcome and let us buy you another drink when you're ready." I smiled and sort of shrugged it all off since I'm not in the habit of accepting drinks from strange men (even though a good friend of mine insists "that's what men are for."

They were waiting on food with a glass of red wine each. They didn't bother me at all - they mostly talked to the waitress - but we did brief introductions. When their food came out - two large steaks and one enormous crab-stuffed lobster tail - they requested a plate and fork for me and dished up some of the most succulent lobster I've ever had. My drink was finished and they covered my second one (how could I resist - I needed something to wash the lobster down).

Still, it never turned into that creepy "I'm an older man trying to hit on you by buying you drinks" kind of thing. They were just very generous and happy to be there.

I finished up and paid for my one drink. They tried to convince me to stay for another on them but two martinis was enough so I said my farewells and thank yous and left.

It was the nicest thing that's happened to me around here in a while. My boyfriend gave me a hard time about it because two men bought me a drink but I thought it was all in a friendly manner and scoffed at his jealousy. They didn't inquire about me beyond my name so they clearly weren't trying to hit on me.

Whatever the reason, I had a great afternoon at Blue and I owe it all to Bill and John, "the nice guys."

- Judianne

What happened with the temperature nosedive?  We were rocking some seriously gorgeous days, and now there's a frost advisory.  I've gotten used to not wearing a jacket, and now I walk outside wishing I had a windbreaker.  I guess when the weather seems too good to be true, it is.  Hopefully we won't be stuck with the chill for too long; the forecast looks like it'll slowly creep back up above 70 by the end of the week. 

On a somewhat related note, my allergies have been killing me the last couple of days.  I'm not the only one, either - plenty around the office are miserable.  What's the deal?  Not being able to breathe and wanting to pull my eyeballs out of my skull kind of sucks.  Allergy medicines work decently, but when they wear off it's right back to misery.

    -Tucker

This morning I watched a 7-year-old boy swim from Alcatraz to San Francisco. He set a record for being the youngest yet to make the swim. And all I could think about was David Blaine. Poor bastard can't hold his breath to break a record and this little kid swims the bay without even blinking. Maybe ABC should have invested in little Braxton Bilbrey as a primetime special instead. I wonder who will be on the Wheaties box? The guy who got us al excited for nothing or the little boy who set a goal and reached it, while stealing our hearts with his cute little smile. HA HA - sorry, David.

- Judianne