Dear Mr. Grant,

My name is Ryan; I do a bit of acting here and there and I simply need to know- how did you get so lucky? I understand you might not know what I mean just yet, so here's the thing; I just saw your latest film, Music and Lyrics, and it has to be the 14th straight movie in which you play a character pretty much exactly like yourself- a handsome, quick-witted but arrogant (yet self-deprecating) ladies' man prone to stupid mistakes but too damn likable to be mad at... ever. You're an actor, yet all you really need to do is memorize some lines, say them exactly like Hugh Grant the person would say them, make sure to look good while doing so, and ka-ching, there's the money. Please, please educate me on how you cornered the market on being the world's foremost (and highest paid) cute British f#$k-up both on and off the screen.

Okay, I know I am sounding a little snarky myself in writing all this, but I do want you to know that I truly enjoy the majority of the films you're in (although I prefer the ones actually filmed in Britain as they can be much more dangerously funny than Music and Lyrics turned out to be) and count About a Boy as one of the best comedies I've seen in some time. The parts of Music dealing with your has-been musician status, either in the movie's present or in flashbacks, are truly hilarious, but this whole Hugh Grant-as-a-guy-who-is... a hell of a lot like Hugh Grant- is getting a bit old. Not to mention the fact that your co-star Drew Barrymore is basically pulling off the same thing; you could have been Adam Sandler or that dude from the Strokes and very few would have noticed any difference in her smart-but-clumsy character. This isn't about her, though (Drew, you should keep reading though, this will be you eventually); I'm hoping you'll do something next to showcase your range- I think a good cop drama where you're the corrupt sergeant hiding his raging homosexuality would be an excellent thing for you right now as the people at Oscar, Inc (and BAFTA, Inc, for that matter) have pretty much forgotten your name and even your hair.

You're probably not in it for the awards, though, as you've likely caught on to the fact that one has to be in a movie with no budget to get an Oscar anymore. Please understand, however, that there are millions of significant others, myself included, that get dragged to romantic comedies but only stop their kicking and screaming when they know you're going to be in it, because we then realize that we'll at least get some good ol' British snark to go with the sap. It's starting to not be enough, though, and Music and Lyrics is the hard evidence. The wrinkles in your mid-forties face are starting to show through the make-up, and soon Matthew McConaughey will figure out a different accent than stoned Southerner or Luke Wilson will find Monty Python and you'll be completely boxed out of the paint. Please, for all of the people who hope to never find the crossroads where Wilson sold his soul or the crossroads where McConaughey... is, do something a little different next time around and we promise we'll be cool with the Hugh Grant-as-Hugh Grant shtick the time after that. Even if it's another Bridget Jones movie.

Regards,
Ryan Hill