...but Christmas plays tend to go over much better; especially in the Lehigh Valley, where the holidays are as important to the local economy as they are to the malls. Each major Lehigh Valley theatre is offering up something this season, and a couple of these should appeal to us 20-somethings.

"The Trial of Ebenezer Scrooge" at DeSales University (opens tomorrow night)

It's no surprise that the most innovative holiday offering this year belongs to a college, as this twist on Charles Dickens' classic begins one year after the original left off, but with a Scrooge that has reverted back to his miserly bleak self. Playwright Mark Brown previously adapted Jules Verne's "Around the World in 80 Days" for the local stage; he's developed perhaps the first comedic courtroom drama with holiday overtones in history and it's got the best chance out of all the plays opening this weekend to make the Daily Show/Colbert Report generation fall out of their seats with laughter.

"Christmas City Follies VII" at Touchstone Theatre (opens tomorrow night)

Follies is designed to be a family-friendly show, like most holiday offerings, but 20-somethings will still find quite a bit of humor in a production that is closer to Saturday Night Live than It's a Wonderful Life. A different Lehigh Valley celebrity (I'm aware of just how close to an oxymoron that is) will host the show each night and interact with Touchstone's professional actors in many of the skits. Local musicians are also on hand for what is the most community-minded of the holiday theatre offerings.

There are two other productions of note that fans of the stage should definitely consider: the Civic Theatre's "A Christmas Carol" and Pennsylvania Playhouse's "Tidings." The Civic's offering of "Carol" is a Lehigh Valley standard and under the direction of artistic director William Sanders will likely be the best-produced show this season. Veteran Valley actor Pat Kelly takes the stage for the first time as Scrooge after killer roles this year in "Cider House Rules" and "Man of No Importance;" look for him to bring an understated vulnerability to the role that only a vet could provide.

"Tidings" is written by Allentown native Brian McDermott and could easily be billed as "Christmas Carol," "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" all smashed together and presented in present times. People our age will likely find many of the comedic points a little dumb for our tastes, but kids and grandparents both will find themselves laughing out loud more often than not. Numerous Playhouse veterans have roles; look to Ralph Schwamm as the Scrooge-like Neezer for the lion's share of the laugh-inducing lines.

There it is; there's no need to sift through the drudge of "Deck the Halls" and the like in the movie theatres this season (Hollywood should have just stopped after National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation- every Christmas movie since has been some sort of bad derivative) when there are plenty of funnier and more original offerings on the stages only minutes from your place.

-Ryan

Blonde guys aren't supposed to be as stupid as our female counterparts supposedly are. I had a true blonde moment yesterday, however, changing what should have been the content of this blog entry. You should have been reading a glorious rave about the amazing G Love and Special Sauce show I saw at the Electric Factory in Philly last night, but thanks to some miscommunication with the girlfriend and some good 'ol Blondie forgetfulness, however, I went online to get tickets YESTERDAY MORNING. That venture was predictably futile, as rule #1 of G Love club is this: do not wait to buy tickets to see G Love IN HIS HOMETOWN until the day of the show. Yes, there is another show tonight, and yes, those tickets were sold out, too. If any of you saw the show or will tonight, please do not let me know about it; I have a good friend who's got dibs on that legal form of torture.

It's not all bad news for the blonde guys of the world, though; there is a certain British blonde guy who was the source of a lot of mockery not even six months ago who seems to have turned all that hatin' into some serious lovin'. Daniel Craig is our generation's James Bond and the first light-haired actor to take on the iconic role made famous forty years ago by Sean Connery; that trait and perhaps a few others were behind a rather large media backlash against his taking of the role led by those who run www.danielcraigisnotbond.com. One trip to that site will reveal that these people are really against the new Bond, but further examination shows that they're fighting change more-so than Craig, and just ask a Republican what happens when you try to fight change.

Why would the Bond franchise have to change? Two words: Austin Powers. Seriously, no one in their 20s can truly watch a Connery-era Bond movie and at no point be thinking of Dr. Evil, Alotta Fagina or Mini-Me... NO ONE. The James Bond movies of the 90s, all featuring the more-than-perfect for the role Pierce Brosnan, were simply higher-tech versions of the Connery movies Mike Myers set out to spoof by creating Austin Powers with Brosnan playing Bond as close to Connery as anyone had in the past. Craig's Bond, which debuted last week in Casino Royale, is decidedly rougher, though the whole point of Royale is to start from the beginning; the first scene shows Bond logging the necessary first two kills one needs to become a double-0.

I saw Casino Royale on Wednesday at the Regal Cinemas off of Routes 33 and 248 in Lower Nazareth Township (great theater, but I heard all the booms of the movie next to us way too clearly). I loved the movie so much that I was actually shocked when it was over; I knew it clocked in at over 2 and a half hours but had no clue so much time had gone by when the credits started rolling. The movie proves that this new take on Bond will not be so easily parodied; our hero is shown making mistakes across the board and getting out of those mistakes without much of the finesse of previous Bonds. This is not to say that there isn't anything for the purists; Craig's Bond still knows how to kick ass and get the girl, and there is still room for the well-delivered one liner here and there.

Let's be honest; could the James Bond of the past, with all the perverted quips and borderline misogyny, survive in today's culture? I honestly think the answer is no, as keeping the legendary character stuck in pre-woman's revolution ways would be more lethal than Jaws, Nick-Nack and Max Zorin, among others, ever were. To be fair, Brosnan did avoid playing Bond as slimy as Roger Moore or even Connery were often guilty of, but Bond was still too often thinking with Bond Jr. in his movies. The first 30 minutes of Casino Royale will prove that though Bond is still quite the sexual being, some extra-curricular action ain't gonna get in the way of finding the bad guy, meaning movie-goers are much more likely to take this movie seriously in our post-Austin Powers world. Some will still call it a total blonde move in the end, but I think plugging the edgy Daniel Craig into the 007 franchise has likely assured that it will stick around for another forty years.

-Ryan

We're one night away from what is widely known as the biggest drinking night of the year for those of us who don't currently attend a state school (it's a scientific fact that 7% of the kids at Bloomsburg still think they're celebrating St. Patrick's Day while another 4% have already begun celebrating the next one), because much of the local high school alumni will wind their way back to the LV to be with their families for Thanksgiving. But what if, like me, you didn't go to high school here? What if you, like me, went to some bumblef#@k town's pitiful excuse for a building of secondary education that you left like a gunshot the day of graduation vowing to only come back on the DAY OF any holiday where you are required by law to see your parents? For those of you who, like me, will be in the LV tomorrow night but don't want to run into anybody's half-assed excuse for a 10-year reunion, here's some stuff to make the night killer.

The Grand Opening of 40Below Night Club & Lounge

    -Located next to Popmart on West Broad Street in Bethlehem, 40Below is the closest Bethlehem gets to a NYC hot spot. It's got a dress code, people, so don't even bother if you can't part with your Nikes for a night. Those who enjoy dressing to impress will also like the Red Bull and Smirnoff Vodka reps helping to roll out the red carpet (seriously, there will be a red carpet) for the big opening.

Live Music

    -Those who want to rock out should check out the Loose Cannons at Season's Grille in Kutztown, or for the hard rockers who like to space out, the Insidious Rays at the Funhouse in Bethlehem are a must, but expect the place to be packed. Leechboy, everyone's favorite acoustic artist named after a disgusting insect, will be a PJ Whelihan's in Allentown while DJ Big Daddy mans the turntables at the Hawthorne House in Bethlehem. Those who love the blues should be at the Bluetone Cafe in Easton for the Open Blues & Rock Jam with Todd Wolfe every Wednesday night anyway.

Karaoke

    -Ah, the tried and true drinking pastime for those who would simply rather entertain themselves, the usual Wednesday night karaoke spots are still in effect for Thanksgiving Eve, including Stahley's in Allentown, the Willow Street Pub in Ruchsville and the Tally-Ho in Bethlehem (a warning: walking through the Ho at about 11 tomorrow night will be much like driving on 22 at 5 this afternoon).

You can pretty much expect the majority of your favorite go-to bars to be twice as packed as you've ever seen it, so my advice to those who aren't feeling the options above and still don't want to meet up with all the people who witnessed your most awkward years is to use Thanksgiving Eve to take a risk and try a place out of the ordinary, and for the best bet for comfort, out of the Allentown, Bethlehem and Easton city limits. Honestly, no one is gonna blame you for staying in, either, it'll be a good time to write down and memorize all of the smartass answers to the guilt trips your mom plans on laying on you during Thursday's dinner.

-Ryan      

I'm one of those people who isn't really thinking of what I should say when I meet someone; I'm instead mentally listing all the things I should not say. So I was pretty f$#@ing mad at myself when the words "I don't normally like jam bands, but you guys were seriously good" leaked out of my mouth after I had met the lead singer of the Ooftah Boys last night.

Most of us know by now that jam bands do not like to be called "jam bands" anymore, kinda like how hookers would prefer to be called "horizontal pleasure technicians" nowadays. Well, I know at least one that does... anyway... I can see why this specific brand of musician would be against the "jam band" branding- frat boys have infiltrated the masses at Bonnaroo and thrown the label on any band willing to perform a song for longer than six minutes, effectively diluting a pool of musicians who are, for the most part, incredibly intelligent and aware people. That same lead singer I half-drunkenly dropped the j-bomb on, Tom Bierowksi, has a Ph.D. from Lehigh and teaches at Alvernia College. Not impressed? His guitarist, Jon Fadem, is working on his Ph.D. in Neuroscience.

Fadem, Bierowski and the rest of the Ooftah Boys (there are seven and one is actually a girl) are part of a rather large family of Lehigh Valley bands, including Post Junction, the Insidious Rays and KEF, and the members are often interchanged and/or make regular cameos at each other's gigs. The Ooftah Boys are the fun-loving little brother of this family; you wonder if he ever takes himself (or anything) seriously but are too busy having fun with him to bring it up at the time. They pepper their sets with smart yet adventurous solos and covers that range from the Beastie Boys to David Bowie to Prince, whose "Purple Rain" ended last night's show at the Funhouse with a spot-on guitar solo so ridiculously good that The Artist himself might have actually brought his nose down from the air to watch it.

Tom Bierowski was actually quite gracious to me after I said what I promised myself I wouldn't to him, although he warned me that his keyboardist might kick my ass. They've likely heard the jam-band term a million and three times, as have the Insidious Rays, Post Junction and KEF, despite the fact that each band has a distinctly different vibe, so I, and all the other writers out there who will also argue whether or not Green Day is "punk" at the drop of a hat bought at Hot Topic, should just lay off and let them play. They might, however, want to do something about the fact that their guitarist looks EXACTLY like Trey Anastasio (red hair, beard, and all, I swear).

-Ryan

Walking past the Apollo Grill during peak dinner hours has left me to believe it might be near impossible to ever eat there without a reservation made in the Carter administration. Everyone knows the food is good and the atmosphere better at the grill taking up residence across from the Edge on Bethlehem's Broad Street, but to enjoy it without the company of the entire town of Bath within earshot, I recommend doing lunch.

An early afternoon Apollo meal will be more expensive than a deli or pizzeria lunch, but the taste upgrade is worth the dough. My girlfriend had an enormous turkey club she claimed was terrific while I had the grilled vegetable panini (for those who haven't gathered from previous food posts, I am a vegetarian and welcome any questions on how herbivores can survive in a very carnivorous Lehigh Valley), which was also huge and stocked with the kind of fresh mozzarella that can make a good sandwich a knee-buckling good sandwich. We also ordered a plate of sweet potato fries upon my girlfriend's suggestion and despite my dissent (this coming Thursday will mark the 26th consecutive Thanksgiving I pass the sweet potatoes right on down to my brother without taking any), but they were actually pretty damn good and somewhat addictive.

The total bill came to about $27, including tip (we had iced teas). Lunch patrons also get a free bread basket with a few different kinds of bready-like things that are quite tasty. Lunch at the Apollo would be an excellent place for a date of any kind as you'll get to show class and still be able to enjoy some conversation. Not to knock the Apollo for dinner; I have actually made it in for an excellent meal and I've even ordered really expensive drinks at the bar during a night where I was delusional enough to believe I could afford to do so, but those looking for a place without the volume and bustle of your typical diner will appreciate the laid-back vibe of lunch at the Apollo.

-Ryan

Comedy comes in both local and national flavors to the Lehigh Valley this weekend, as we get the area's most well-known comic at the Blue Monkey on Friday and the Laughter Arts Festival at the State Theatre in Easton on Saturday.

I really really really want you to go to the Laughter Arts Festival, so I'm starting with that. The LAF has been coming to the state for 7 years now, and each time it's been the biggest comedy show the ABE area gets that year. Saturday's show will be no different; A-listers Greg Giraldo, Kathleen Madigan and Christian Finnegan are set to perform; Giraldo is likely the smartest comic out there- he graduated from Harvard Law School!- and his socially aware set will resonate with fans of the Daily Show and the Colbert Report. Kathleen Madigan has been on VH1's I Love the 90s and NBC's Last Comic Standing while Christian Finnegan has been seen on Chappelle's Show and VH1's Best Week Ever.

Why do I really really really want you to go to LAF? 'Cuz selling this show out would prove to the powers that be, whoever the $@#! they are, that comedy is in demand in the Lehigh Valley, and that we need a full-fledged, 3 great comics every weekend comedy club. That's all.

For those who can't make LAF or want to get a tune-up for Saturday's big show, check out Raymond the Amish Comic at the Blue Monkey tomorrow night . The "Man in the Black Hat" has been in the comedy biz for 14 years; he is hands down the area's best funnyman. People know it, too, so if you want tix, grab them ASAP by calling the Blue Monkey. Regular Raymond opener and Whitehall native Marc Juretus will kick off the show.

Get out and enjoy the funny this weekend, but remember that the closest places that do this sort of thing every weekend are at least one hour in the car away. This can, and should, change.

-Ryan

I usually want to smack the majority of people who come out of movies saying "the book was better." The usual reason: I'm jealous because I didn't even know there was a book until I saw the "based on" disclaimer at the beginning of the film. It was a different story today; I went to see Running With Scissors only days after finishing the book, though I now wish I hadn't actually smacked the majority of those people.

Based on author Augusten Burroughs's personal memoirs of the same name, Running With Scissors boasts a stellar cast and direction from the guy who's brought us some of the best episodes of Nip/Tuck, Ryan Murphy. He also wrote the screenplay, but totally threw out the knifing wit Burroughs employed throughout the book in doing so. We are left with an overly sentimental piece instead of the hilariously shocking stories of the book, which details Burroughs's life as a teenager forced to live in the home of his mother's psychiatrist while coming to terms with his homosexuality and the burgeoning insanity of the good doctor. Like many movies of the "based on" genre, numerous characters from the book have either disappeared from the movie or have been given the "Hollywood" treatment to make them more appealing to the movie-going masses. Case in point without spoiling the movie for you: Augusten's best friend in the story is one of the doctor's daughters, Natalie. In the book she is overweight and quite insecure about it; she is played by Evan Rachel Wood in the movie, who is very much not overweight. This, like many of the changes Murphy made in adapting the book for the big screen, thoroughly disappointed me.

If you did want to see this movie and haven't read the book yet, there are still some good reasons to see the movie first: 1) Because you want to and no dumb-ass blogger should stop you, 2) Annette Bening and Alec Baldwin: amazing as the parents of the lead, Bening is a shoo-in for an Oscar nomination and Baldwin would have been if his character had more scenes (he got more than the book would have allotted anyway), and finally, 3) just as the book is so good because of how different it is, this movie is still far and away the most unique mainstream piece out there now. Whatever you do, though, make sure you read the book at some point, it will have you laughing hysterically and it is better than the movie.

Please excuse me while I smack myself.

-Ryan

Give one of the dudes in Aerosmith with a banjo. Then go back in time and convince Black Sabbath to go country-western. I'll tell you what, those are gonna be a little hard to pull off, so why don't you just do what I did last night and go see The Unpronounceable? Okay? Okay. Oh, here's why:

The band calls their sound "Countrifunked Jazzabilly;" whatever it is it's completely authentic as the band, comprised of brothers Pete and Adam Gustavson, Dan Kinsley and Justin "J-Ride" Riddle, pass around an old school stand-up bass between songs like reggae bands pass spliffs. Singer Pete's meaty voice jumped out of the Funhouse speakers last night with the finesse of a punch in the face and the other boys provided feverish accompaniment, chasing each other with their riffs. They aren't afraid to throw out an instrumental, and the audience isn't afraid to listen, as I witnessed one of the most captive audiences I've ever seen at a Funhouse show. I also wasn't joking about the aforementioned classic rock bands; I heard covers of "Dream On" and "Ironman" that made each tune sound like it was written by Johnny Cash. Which reminds me, I finally heard a decent cover of "Folsum Prison Blues" last night- even though Pete doesn't hit the low notes like the Man in Black, he sure as hell knows how to channel him.

The Unpronounceable have already played some primo gigs in New York and Philly, but you can catch them around the home base (the Lehigh Valley, duh) quite often, including what I'm guessing is the bi-monthly Thursday night gig at the Funhouse I saw last night. Two more great shows are coming to the Funhouse; Swimmer's Union (I posted about them a week ago) tonight and the Insidious Rays tomorrow night. I do promise, by the way, to catch some gigs outside of Bethlehem sometime soon- more specifically, when my car gets all fixed up.

-Ryan

Whether it's your first date or your fifty-first, I think we can all agree that the majority of significant others want to go to "someplace different" to eat. Being that my girlfriend and I are somewhere in 300-range, "something different" gets harder and harder to achieve, so my success last week with a "something different" place was notable enough that I want to pass it along to you: take him/her to McCoole's in Quakertown.

McCoole's is in the Red Lion Inn on Main Street; I remembered the building from growing up in the area as a kid but noticed it again just a month ago when I saw the "Upscale Atmosphere for the Working Person's Wallet" slogan posted outside. It was therefore loaded in the memory banks for the next time she said "someplace different."

We went on a Friday night, and paid for it by scavenging for a parking spot and waiting forty-five minutes to eat. Let me say right off the bat that these were the only major downsides of the night, but anyone who goes to a restaraunt like this on a high-traffic night like we did should expect similar. McCoole's has the same historic feel of the Red Lion Inn, a little bit Middle Ages and a little bit colonial. The dining room is a bit small but I never felt as cramped as I thought I might when I first sat down. We were defenitely comfortable beforehand, though, as they have a very nice waiting area complete with rather large books (which should have been more of a warning than I originally took it to be).

The service was excellent and the food matched; I had the Roasted Pepper & Eggplant Napoleon and my girlfriend had the McCoole's Dip (what most other places would call the Roast Beef Au Jus). I don't even pretend to be a food expert, so I can't really tell you why my dish was good, but I'll tell you it was and that there was plenty of it. I would argue a bit with the slogan, however; while the prices are certainly not incredibly expensive, almost anything north of a sandwich will cost you more than the typical 20-something makes in an hour. Make sure you check out the menu online before you go to confirm that you can afford the trip, which ended up costing me $40 (including tip and a couple beers).

My final verdict: a great change-of-pace restaraunt for those who aren't in Quakertown but are willing to make the trip. I've never been one to recommend going to a new place or traveling farther than 10 miles from his/her place for a first date (gives him/her too much time to wonder which part of your car will fall off next), so I'd keep McCoole's for the couples who have hit the Valley restaraunt rut. There is a bar and live music on weekends; Valley guitar god Craig Thatcher is slated for this Friday, so keep McCoole's in mind for girl's/guy's night out, also.

-Ryan

...now that would be a great name for a band. Instead, however, it's probably how a lot of people feel having been hit with two Truman Capote movies in the past year or so telling pretty much the same story. Both movies are worth your time, however, and the latest, Infamous, is at the Civic Theatre in Allentown this weekend.

As someone who was just a toddler when Truman Capote died in 1984, I'm not here to judge who does a better job of playing the famous author of Breakfast at Tiffany's. Many people my age don't realize that the author whose works we were required to read in high school was the Diddy of his generation, throwing spectacular A-list parties and constantly looking for new ways to drum up publicity. We do know that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was given an Oscar for his portrayal, so how is Toby Jones, the lead in Infamous, going to do any better?

The answer is more of a non-answer: it doesn't matter. The story of either film, which revolve around the killing of a family in Kansas and Capote's drive to write about it, is what grabs those who weren't alive when it happened. Infamous is more direct than Capote, portraying Truman's relationship with murderer Perry Smith as a full-fledged romance rather than the manipulative crush seen last year's film (those who are anxiously awaiting the new James Bond movie will be just a bit taken aback by new-007 Daniel Craig's full-on kiss with Jones). There is actually quite a bit more star power in Infamous, as Sandra Bullock, Gwyenth Paltrow, Jeff Daniels, Sigorney Weaver and Isabella Rossellini all have roles- yet Capote ends up being the more character-driven film while Infamous goes with the story, letting none of the aforementioned stars muck up what is a great study of a writer getting way too involved with his subject. We know at the end of Capote that Truman never again matched the professional success he had with In Cold Blood, the story he wrote of the Kansas murders, but after Infamous we truly understand why.

Infamous plays at 4 and 7 today and 4:30 tomorrow at the 19th Street Theatre (the big one). As a note for those who have seen movies in the beautiful, but drafty, Civic Theatre, a new heating system has been put in and things will be warmer for the winter months, according to managing director Scott Snyder. As for those who have yet to see a movie at the Civic, it's cheaper than the corporate theaters and the movies playing are those you don't hear about until they pick up 5 Oscars, as Infamous has at least an outside shot of doing next year.

-Ryan

Live music is a living, breathing being according to many of the people who play it, and the enviroment in which it is played in is key to it's survival. One guy playing Simon & Garfunkel songs on his nylon-stringed acoustic guitar won't make it for long in the middle of a college bar on a Saturday night, just as loud, fast punks aren't often dumb enough to book Monday-night coffeehouse gigs. While the Simon & Garfunkel wannabe will find a better home at a place like Godfrey Daniel's on Bethlehem's South Side, the loud fast punks know to go to the Funhouse just next door, as Allentown's Swimmer's Union will be doing tonight.

I only heard of Swimmer's Union last month (and have yet to see them live, but that should change tonight), but upon my first listen to the songs up on their Myspace site, I fell in indie-rock love. Rough and misguided, they experiment with the flair of the earliest edition of Pink Floyd while rocking with the punk pathos of Stiff Little Fingers. They belong at the Funhouse, where the stage is 6 feet from the wall facing it and anyone walking out of the bathroom has to be careful not to be cold-cocked by someone setting up his/her next shot at the pool table- they are punk and so is that bar.

They play with Esme tonight at 10; try and catch this perfect marraige of sound and venue, keeping in mind the fact that such unions (think: the Ramones at CBGB's, Phish at any outdoor venue in the country, me in my shower) are too rare in an age of watered-down bands playing music halls with even less personality.

-Ryan