I couldn't help but think of the bomb someone placed in the first Wal-Mart to be built in the notoriously liberal town of Ithaca, NY as I walked through the Promenade Shops at Saucon Valley yesterday. I went to college in Ithaca and I remember the fights the locals would have with anyone and everyone when a brand-name store tried to build in the area (they had succeded in passing a law against them years ago). The Wal-Mart, a signal of everything "red-state" America loves, was evidently such an insult that the normally peace-loving hippie Ithacans felt the need to make a bomb. I doubt anyone feels that way about the Promenade Shops (and I don't think anyone should), but I don't like the idea being put out there that the Lehigh Valley is better culturally for them.

The obvious, biggest benefit to the new stores in Saucon Valley is the traffic it will hopefully take away from MacArthur Avenue and the rest of Whitehall in the coming holiday season (it's already here? damn!!!). People who live in the Quakertown area, like my grandmother, will no longer have to make the decision between driving an hour to King of Prussia or being stuck for an hour on 22. There are the jobs that a mall like this provides, also, although anyone driving through yesterday was greeted by picketers protesting the use of illegal immigrants to help construct the mall. The arrival of Banana Republic, Bombay and Brooks Brothers to the Valley is surely welcome to those who were driving all over the place to get the "upscale" products these places have to offer. But does an upscale mall automatically make an area "upscale?"

Without getting into too long of a discussion on the state of American culture, I just want to say that I'd hope people think about more than the closest malls when it comes to sizing up the worth of a specific area. The fact that one, like myself for a year, was no more than 20 minutes away from 5 different malls when living in Cincinnati (two in particular were considered "upscale") was almost always mentioned as one of the first 3, if not the first, reasons why the Cincinnati area was "cool," yet anyone who has lived there for a bit will tell you that there are plenty of bands, galleries and overall interesting places there that the malls only matter to the obscene amount of 20-somethings who already have married off and had their 2.7 kids. I don't want to see our area, which is obviously growing in population and culture and has quite a bit to offer already, judged on whether or not it has a mall selling $90 t-shirts amongst $200 jeans (damn you, Lucky Brand stores!).

I guess all I'm trying to say is that I hope these stores stay what they are: places to obtain goods for money. Though the stores are quite nice and the setting is beautiful, they are not cultural landmarks. Are they necessary? Actually, yes, and all one has to do to know that's true is to shop at the Lehigh Valley Mall on Black Friday and try to get back onto 22 without threatening someone's life. Speaking of which, I should say that the bomb in the Ithaca Wal-Mart didn't go off, probably due to the incense stick that doubled as a fuse.

-Ryan

...and by Halloweiners, I'm referring to those who won't be dressing up or even attending a Halloween party this year- your hesitance to cross-dress and/or under-dress will be rewarded as there is plenty to do this weekend in the Lehigh Valley without letting everyone know that you couldn't think of a better costume than the Free Mammogram Machine your roommate so expertly devised.

First off, the gods have answered my call and there are multiple arenas for live, stand-up comedy this weekend. The Blue Monkey in Catasaqua hosts Alan Marx with feature act Davin tomorrow night at 8 (a change from their usual Saturday at 9 slot); Alan actually mixes stand-up with motivational speaking, so it won't be a typical night at the comedy club. South Side Steel in Bethlehem and the Classic Rock 'N Roll Cafe in Allentown are getting into the comedy game: South Side on Saturday and the Rock Cafe on Wednesday. You'll see that Alan Marx is back for a reprise at the Cafe on Wednesday and all I can tell you about the South Side show on Saturday is that the feature act is actually a very well known little person. Being that these comedy nights are both new, please please please support them as they'll need to make the bars some money in order to stick around and help drive the Lehigh Valley towards the beautiful goal of having its own bona-fide comedy club.

It's also a great weekend in the theatre (notice the spelling, I'm talkin' plays now); two great college shows are opening and The Producers finally hits Easton. The show made famous by Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane arrives at the State Theatre for four shows (one tomorrow and Sunday each, two on Saturday) without, however, Broderick and Lane, but instead many very capable off-Broadway traveling actors who will still likely leave you breathless with laughter. In addition, we have the openings of Lafayette's Into the Woods and Muhlenberg's Urinetown. My preference leans towards Urinetown as it is closer to the new brand of not-so-damn-cheesy musical theatre (it's actually a parody of musical theatre, making it even better), but both shows should be nothing short of amazing, unless they're not, in which that would suck.

Though it will still be hard to avoid the Halloween festivities in the Valley this weekend, I've given you quite a few options to at least keep those crazed cross-dressers at bay for a while. Just don't forget that in the end, you won't be hated on nearly as much for not wearing a costume to a party as compared to wearing an insanely cheesy and/or cliched one should you break down and go with the flow.

-Ryan

Blame it on Daylight Savings, the fact that Halloween falls on a Tuesday this year or blame it on the fact that Americans loooooooove to dress up like cheap women and drink cheaper liquor, but somehow this year's All-Hallow's Eve is a six day event. Starting tomorrow night with “Halloween Slaughter” at the Bethlehem Brewworks and ending Tuesday night, the actual day of Halloween, with a gathering of the undead (undead meaning those still standing despite 5-day hangovers) at pretty much any place of their choosing, the Lehigh Valley is in for a hellish weekend. Get it? Hellish? Because it's Halloween and there's the devil and... eh, anyway...

Here is a rundown of the better (better meaning cooler as decided by me) events coming up in the first three days of the long weekend.

Thursday

Bethlehem Brewworks' Halloween Slaughter- Festivities actually begin at 4:30pm, the beginning of happy hour, when those who want a shot at $350 can start registering for the Grand Costume Contest at the Main Bar. Those who are members of the Brewworks' prestigious Mug Club are automatically registered (and will be attending their own private party downstairs in the Steelgaarden, thankyouverymuch), everyone else has to fork over $5. Registration ends at 10 and the money will be handed over at 11.

Friday

Banana Joe's/Sterling Hotel Heaven and Hell Party- Heaven and Hell parties are the new hotness for 20-something Halloweeners, and this Banana/Sterling collaboration may be the best one in the Valley. Featuring magicians, DJs and even Bam Margera's parents, you can guarantee this party will be packed. The Sterling will be the place to go to enjoy the festivities but avoid the hordes, as only the 21+ crowd gets in there.

Halloween Costume Party at the Hotel Bethlehem- Swanky party featuring the surf-music stylings of the Aquabees. And yes, surf music and Halloween do go together.

Saturday

K.I.D.'s VIP Halloween Bash at The Eagles Club- The problem with this bash is the $25 it'll take you to get in ($50 if you want an open bar, but you gotta pay ahead of time), but it's in Forks Township and when was the last time Forks Township got some love on this blog, or any blog ever?

Costume Bash with DJ Horrible Pete at Which Brew in Easton- Gets a mention because any party headed up by a guy named Horrible Pete is gonna kick some serious tail.

WZZO Halloween Bash at the Riverside Barr & Grill- Keeping with the Easton-area theme, this party doesn't even start until 11 and it features an Ozzy Osbourne tribute band! (face it, an impersonation of the Prince of Darkness is probably better than the real thing right about now). Come here only after you've hung with the Merge Party Crew and 99.9 The Hawk's Rick Michaels at Catty Corner in Catasaqua.

Horrorshow 2 at PopMart- A group art exhibition for those wanting a little something something different from their Halloween festivity. It's free and there will be music, plus the new 40 Below nightclub has opened right next to it and will be free that night for Popmart guests.

That's just the first three days, people, there is more to come for Sunday, Monday and Tuesday if you can hack it. Get it? Hack it? Because it's Halloween and there's murderers and... eh, whatever.

-Ryan

I wrote yesterday that the new Wired Cafe and Gallery was "a much needed piece of the Main Street puzzle," referring to the integral part of Bethlehem's Historic District I so often end up in on a Friday or Saturday night. Today, however, I want to discuss what I feel could be the final piece to that puzzle: airlifting the best pizza place in the Lehigh Valley from the South Side across the river to Main Street.

Casa Mia Pizza Pub sits near the corner of 4th and New Streets within easy walking distance of Lehigh University. I've had New York City pizza many times, so I tell you this from experience: Casa pizza is as close to city pizza as it gets in all of eastern PA (yes, including Philly, who would do well to stick to cheesesteaks and pretzels). My particular favorite is the white pizza loaded with veggies, which Anthony, the owner and main pizza-maker, will never skimp you on, but a piece of plain cheese pizza is perfect for those looking for a little something to soak up all the beer/vodka/mystery punch you just drank. Some heads-up: the bar is a little on the small side and the place can get quite crowded late on a Saturday night, I recommend you try Casa out with a date on a Wednesday or Thursday night, as the place has family-style seating and a laid-back vibe on weeknites. Also, Casa turns into Allentown-in-Bethlehem on Friday nights, with all the tables moved to the side and a DJ spinning into the morning. I have been frisked trying to get in there on a Friday just to pick up a to-go pizza. On the plus side, however, that makes Casa about the only urban dance-club option in Bethlehem on a Friday night.

Keeping with the Friday night urban theme, tonight's Indaglo party at Crocodile Rock in Allentown should not be missed by those looking to blaze a trail in the marketing/promotion biz. Indaglo, an Allentown-based PR company that came *this* close to bringing Kanye West to Musikfest but still pulled LL Cool J and Ne-Yo, has received plenty of press recently (believe me, they'll tell you), so I'd rather use this space to tell you that these guys are for real and they are dedicated to the Lehigh Valley. How do I know? I graduated from the same Ithaca College class Indaglo founding member Matt Deifer did. Upon re-meeting him again for the first time a few months ago (it makes sense if you know that we met but didn't really know each other in college) I asked him point-blank: "Why Allentown, when promoters could do so much better in Philly or New York?" His reply was simple, he's always wanted to see his hometown get the limelight. Matt and his Indaglo mates realize they'll have to do a lot of work in NYC to get what they want, but what they want will always be a better Lehigh Valley arts scene.

Chances to meet industry peeps don't come to the Lehigh Valley often, and although Indaglo is working to change that, make sure you take advantage of this opportunity tonight. Once you're done there keep the hip-hop feel going at Casa Mia in Bethlehem and make sure to get a slice at this Lehigh University area institution, which probably won't ever be airlifted to the North Side, but I'll hold out hope they open a location on Main Street and finish the Historic Bethlehem puzzle.

-Ryan

You probably know by now about Wired Gallery and Cafe opening on Main Street in Bethlehem, but I'm hoping you haven't dismissed the place as just another storage room for silly things you'll never be able to afford. I was in the gallery last week and was given a mini-tour of the cafe, which opens tomorrow night, and I finally saw the cool, laid-back gathering place for the masses I had been missing since college.

Wired is a long overdue piece of the Main Street puzzle. The area has always been my favorite Friday/Saturday night destination (one note: it helps that I live only blocks from the area and can stumble back home in less than 15 minutes), but it, like the rest of the Lehigh Valley, made me feel like the 20-somethings weren't part of the plan. The only affordable restaurants on site remain Tortilla Flat and Bethlehem Brewworks, but the Flat closes relatively early leaving the Brewworks to be crowded with pretty much every single person who wanted to hang out in the area; that can get old fast. Add this to the fact that the Moravian Bookshop shuts its doors at 6pm ON A SATURDAY, and one can see that the majority of Main Street caters to upper middle class 30-to-60-somethings looking for an array of stores to empty their fat wallets at and not the 20-somethings local politicians claim to want staying in the area after they graduate from Lehigh or Moravian.

Wired Cafe will only close at 6pm on Sundays; they'll be open until 9 on weekdays and 11 on Fridays and Saturdays, tomorrow night being the grand opening. There will be live music and food from Bethlehem vendors, including Johnny's Bagels, Chocolate Lab and Starfish Brasserie. The obligatory wi-fi connection is also in place. As for the gallery, it goes farther to making art accessible than most of the galleries that have taken up shop on Bethlehem's South Side, and actually includes *gasp* affordable photography! Pictures of local landmarks, like the PPL Building and Martin Tower, can run for as low as $25.

All this being said, I do hope that Wired will eventually extend its hours even further into the night once they see some success and realize people will be there past midnight if they're allowed to. My favorite places to escape to during college were any one of the numerous cafes just like Wired that were open into the early morning, if not all night, where there were countless others needing an escape from their claustrophobic dorms. Having a place like Wired could keep those college kids in town for years after they get diplomas.

-Ryan

If I didn't spit out whatever it was I was drinking when my girlfriend's parents told us how much they loved "Harold and Kumar Go To WhiteCastle," I must have at least had a hard time swallowing it as their admission was akin to Mother Teresa recommending "The Departed" from beyond the grave (she didn't, but more on "The Departed" in a bit). I hadn't seen "Harold and Kumar," I had only heard that it was a stoner movie and therefore dismissed it; no movie where weed gets star billing has even come close to Dave Chappelle's "Half-Baked" in the eight years (!) since it's been out.  My girlfriend and I put it on the Netflix queue, however, and it arrived last weekend. Now that we've seen it we are convinced... that her parents are stoners.

I was expecting a riot-fest that transcended the widest of generation gaps since this movie featuring two Asian twenty-somethings in search of weed and munchies was recommended to us by a white upper middle class couple in their 60s from Chester County. There were laughs, don't get me wrong, but as Jon Stewart's character in "Half-Baked" would no doubt believe, it would have been better if we were stoned. Some of the comedy was predictable and unoriginal, especially an animal-in-the-car bit lifted straight from "Tommy Boy" and an extended pooping scene could only draw laughs from the highest of the high while the rest of us are left to throw up a little in our mouths. There are two killer fantasy scenes, however, and an interesting cameo from Neil Patrick Harris (you might remember him as Doogie Howser M.D.); "Harold and Kumar" is also one of those rare dumb films that makes a smart statement, this one concerning Asian-American youth and the pull between embracing both their Asian heritage and their American way of life.

My girlfriend and I were also told, by the same cineaste who gave the thumbs up to "Harold and Kumar," that we HAD to see "The Departed," the new Martin Scorsese epic featuring a who's-who of male leads, including Jack Nicholson, Matt Damon, Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen, Leonardo DiCaprio and Mark Wahlberg. That's right, Marky Mark has graduated to Scorsese. We caught a matinee and walked out of the theater the way most who have gone to see a Scorsese movie do: dazed, but with the sense that we'd just seen one of the most important films ever made. "The Departed" is a remake of a Japanese movie, but Scorsese makes the story all-American and the acting is impeccable; only DiCaprio is hard to believe in this particular role (some of us just can't forgive "Titanic").

What the #@$! am I trying to say with this post? Simply, I still have no clue what my potential in-laws are all about and I need your help in at least getting a clue. Go rent "Harold and Kumar," watch it, and then see "The Departed" THE SAME NIGHT. Then please comment back on how it is that two people getting close to retirement can find value in both a gory Scorsese flick and a stupid stoner movie without being stoners themselves, because the holidays are coming and I need to know if their present will be bought at a store or from my hippie friend Moonbeam.

-Ryan

By the way, "Harold and Kumar" and "The Departed" actually do have one thing in common: Anthony Anderson. DMX's favorite sidekick (Anderson's been in three movies with the rapper) has supporting roles in both movies.

In these days of bigger-than-the-rock-star-ego ticket prices, I really have to like a band in order to even think about seeing them. Gone are the days where you could take a risk with ten dollars on a band that you had only heard about through your friends; this is why the day-long festival, like tomorrow's Waidestock in Stroudsburg, is almost always worth the cash.

Tickets to Waidestock (don't ask, I have no clue why it's called that) are just under $25 with 30 bands booked on 3 different stages, meaning you'll catch about 10-15 groups at the tune of around $2 a band. A festival like Waidestock, consisting primarily of unsigned but on-the-brink bands, will draw at least a few from the record industry loving the opportunity to see multiple groups in one day. Who benefits from this? That would be you in the crowd, as you'll see musicians bust it to draw the eyes of the record reps and get the crowd on their side.

One bummer about Waidestock: it doesn't look like headliner Lit is on the bill anymore. Known for the slacker anthem "My Own Worst Enemy," they had quite a few other songs afterward that may not have charted as high but, at least in my opinion, were better tunes. Matchbook Romance, who broke onto the rock scene in 2003 with "My Eyes Burn," now takes the headliner spot while other featured acts include Bayside, Boys Night Out, Split Fifty and River City High. A couple unknowns I've seen live and want to give you the heads up on are two Rochester bands, The Sunstreak and Out of Line. Both of these bands have killer stage presence and rock with pop sensibilities. Yes, there is just a little emo in there, but not the 15-year old holed up in his room type, moreso the Weezer brand we all loved in 1996.

Enjoy the show; I'm sure you'll get your money's worth.

-Ryan

The Lehigh Valley seems to think the art of stand-up comedy died when "Seinfeld" went off the air over eight years ago. It is true that stand-ups have been out of the limelight a bit after peaking during the respective sitcom reigns of Jerry Seinfeld and Ray Romano, but comedy clubs still go strong in most American cities. Allentown, Bethlehem and Easton, however, are not any of those cities.

The Lehigh Valley is funnier than this, people, I know it. I've been trying my hand at stand-up since I moved back to this area from Cincinnati almost a year ago (a move that a comedian friend of mine called "stupid") and there is no shortage of material- from the consistent bad rep Allentown gets to the parking lot also known as Route 22 and the Jersey drivers one deals with along the way, there is plenty of funny in the Valley but a painful few trying to get any stage time out of it. With all the great galleries being opened on Bethlehem's south side and the emergence of Allentown's west side as a serious culture center of the area, it wouldn't kill anyone to open a true comedy club.

Please understand that when I say a true comedy club, I mean a club dedicated to comedy. No bands (nothing against the music, but we've got a good bit of it going on), just comedians. We had one such club at the Ramada Inn in Whitehall, but it has closed under new management and wouldn't put local comedians on anyway, or at least wouldn't hold an open mic night, a necessity for drawing talent out of the Lehigh Valley woodwork. Correct me if I am wrong, but there is only one venue in the Lehigh Valley even hosting a comedy night, and it is the Blue Monkey Sports Bar in Catasaqua. Every other Saturday night local comedian Marc Juretus puts together a show featuring three acts who have been in the biz for a while (a host, feature and headliner) and two people trying to break into it. One of those shows is this Saturday and the headliner is Easton native Alex House; check her and the other acts performing here.

It's been great to see the Lehigh Valley slowly but surely work itself out of the cultural slump it had been mired in during the previous decade, but there are still pieces of the art puzzle the area hasn't even found yet, let alone put together. Comedy is one of those pieces as people need to be able to laugh and, more importantly, laugh at themselves. If given the opportunity, I know at least a few people (including myself) who would love to make the Lehigh Valley laugh on a regular basis and maybe even become the next Jerry Seinfeld along the way.

-Ryan

Here's a heads-up on a pretty cool event that we'll be attending tomorrow: PJ Whelihan's Simul-Tap event. The mini-chain is unveiling its new beer, P.J.W. Copper Lager, at all eight locations at 6 p.m. Thursday. There will be free samples at the tapping, then the beer will be served in special 22 oz. glasses for $4.

Not a bad stop after work, and don't worry if you can't make it - we'll be there for a taste for ourselves.

    -Tucker

I found some great drama this weekend- both on and off the stage. Saturday night was spent at the Civic Theatre taking in the latest in edgy musical theatre from Bill Sanders and Co. while Sunday afternoon had me on my living room couch watching the most wanted man in Philadelphia overdose on humility.

The Civic's production of "A Man of No Importance" would have had all the controversy of T.O. week in Philly if it wasn't for the fact that the West Allentown theatre has been slowly chipping at the Valley's conservative image for years. Based in 1960s Ireland and centered around a man trying to produce a show some think to be obscene, "A Man of No Importance" treads on the typical Irish fight against a suffocating church but ups the ante by allowing the lead character to accept his homosexuality. Those who want a complete review can click here, so let me use this space to congratulate the Civic for having the *ahem* balls to put on this show, a production which had tragically died in New York at the hands of a critic. Don't think those at the Civic, who in addition to "Man of No Importance" have also put forth the rarely-produced "Tick, Tick, Boom" and the heavy epic "Cider House Rules" this season alone, don't realize the risks they're taking; there have been few shows produced in the Lehigh Valley with the promotional backing "Man of No Importance" received in the past few weeks. Did it pay off? More people were in the seats with me on Saturday night than most Valley shows get for an entire opening weekend, so I'm guessing yes.

While "Man of No Importance" was able to delicately mix comedy and drama, Sunday's over-hyped "revenge" game between the Cowboys and the Eagles was the kind of drama that most people just end up finding funny. Cameras were constantly on Terrell Owens as he yelled and whined like a four-year old on the Dallas sidelines, yet he ended up dropping as many passes as he caught- at one point seemingly dropping a ball to avoid what would have been the crushing hit everyone in Philly went to bed praying for Saturday night. I could go on forever on how and why Terrell Owens and the obscene media coverage he's received in the past week are indicative of everything wrong with professional sports, so I'll instead say a thank you to Donovan McNabb and the Eagles for winning this game in the best possible way: by making the plays everyone thought they couldn't without T.O. Long passes to L.J. Smith, Hank Baskett and Greg Lewis either scored or setup touchdowns, leaving ESPN silent (for the moment) on whether or not the Eagles miss Mr. Owens.

Yes, I realize that my first post for MergeDigital.com somehow managed to combine football and musical theatre, but this is the new Lehigh Valley and guys can get away with this sort of thing now and then. "A Man of No Importance" runs through the 22nd; give it some consideration even if you, like me, are not a fan of musical theatre, as you'll find this production to be much different than the "Hello, Dolly!" clones your grandmother always tried to drag you to. As for the T.O. of Too Much Importance, we sadly have not seen the last of him, but we've at least shut him up for a bit.

-Ryan

Even if you've never heard the band, you've got to recall the scene in <i>Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure</i> when the king sentences the pair to torture and they gleefully exclaim "Iron Maiden! Excellent! [guitar noises]."  I've been a fan for a while, so my friend and I jumped at the chance to go to Saturday's show in Camden, NJ.

We took the train from Philly, but the parking lot was crammed with drunk metalheads. It's always a good time watching guys with long hair and/or mullets running around yelling various metal catchphrases.  Near the entrance when security was making people ditch their parking lot beers, people got a little creative as you can see in the photo to the right.

The show itself was great - the first part of the set was a start-to-finish performance of the band's newest album, A Matter Of Life And Death. The new material is great, but aside from the singles the audience didn't seem that thrilled with the lineup.  As soon as they started playing their big hits, however, people went completely nuts. Highlights were "Two Minutes To Midnight" and, of course, the closer - "Hallowed Be Thy Name."

There were all sorts of people, from older original fans to pre-teen kids with their parents. The only minor hitch was that part of the stage show - a giant tank with zombie mascot Eddie driving - didn't work. Lead singer Bruce Dickinson apologized, saying it was a "Spinal Tap moment, like the time my trousers split and my balls were hanging out." Lovely.  They must have had a backup plan, though, because a few minutes later a giant Eddie puppet on stilts came walking ar ound the stage.  Pretty cool stuff.

That should about wrap it up for my concert schedule for the year - I'm out of money and shows to see.  I'm sure if something comes up, I'll find a way to make it, but all in all I'd say this was a successful 2006 concert season.

    -Tucker

When I was in high school being in "the band" wasn't something to brag about at parties (unless you were at a band party, I guess). But now it seems that being a band geek is one of the cool posts. They even made Hollywood movies about it - Drum Line, for one, and I'm sure there are others. And... coming up... Soundfest 2006. The name sounded kind of cool, so I looked for more info and found the Nazareth Blue Eagle Marching Band Web site. The event is 10 high school bands, doing what they do for prizes and trophies and shit. It looks like there are also other raffles and food stand and stuff for the non-band sort. It's an interesting event (at least it's very different than anything else you would usually try on a weekend). Prejudices aside about the status of "band-ome," I think it's worth noting that we have some serious award-winning bands in our area - maybe they're not the geeks you thought?

- Judianne

One of my friends was interested in coming to the LV Brewfest Saturday.  She even offered to drive.  Nice.  So we showed up in the on-and-off rain and she hit the cash line which oddly offered admission much quicker than the pre-paid line.  Our table got stuck outside the tent instead of inside out of the elements, so I hung around for a few to hand out stuff to the people in line.  My friend decided to dive right in to the tent.

After a while, she re-appeared with a half-full tasting glass (though there were notices and police everywhere saying no beer outside the tent) with a smile and one simple statement: "Yeah, I'm already drunk."  Well, so much for that ride.

She mentioned over and over - in true "one-or-two-too-many-beers" fashion - that she was "trying to get her money's worth."  I guess she did. I had a few tastes myself, but her continued stumbling reminded me that I'd be our transportation home.  By the end, I was feeling nice and warm and she was in happy drunkland, so it was all sorted out.  After a quick stop at Drinky Drinkerson's to use the restroom (ok, we intended to stay for food but she decided we needed to do a covert pee-and-run.  Sorry, Drinky's.

    -Tucker